More than anything else in our lives, it is our limiting beliefs and sabotage programs that keep us from achieving what we really be achieve and succeed at in our lives. Mostly, these limiting beliefs and sabotage programs are unconscious thinking . something we have learned and internalized from childhood – as a result of hearing and seeing our parents, teachers and preachers, and from our own interpretation of our personal experience and what that means about how the world works.
These beliefs and sabotage programs undermine our efforts on a unconscious level
Thus, stopping us from getting what we want. That is why, when I do Kinesiology and coaching sessions, this is one of the first thing we check for and the first thing we address.
Let me give you a couple of examples to show how this works. (below is a very small extract of some of the many many unconscious beliefs you could have.)
If you want to have more money in your life, but you have an unconscious belief that:
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“Wealthy people get their money by stealing or taking from others.”
“To be wealthy, I would have to sacrifice other things in my life.”
“Rich people are arrogant a-holes.”
“Money corrupts the soul.”
“You have to be corrupt to make serious money.”
It follows, that if you are a person who does not identify with being corrupt, the unconscious belief that you need to be corrupt to have serious money will keep you from allowing yourself to make serious money. Your unconscious mind does not allow you to go there. That is for fear of becoming corrupt, which it will not allow you to do. Also, if you do not want to be an arrogant person, but believe that rich people are arrogant, then you cannot allow yourself to be rich, in order to avoid being an arrogant person.
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If you want to loose weight or have a healthier fitter lifestyle, but have some any of the following unconscious beliefs or others:
“if I am slim I will have to be perfect in other ways – or people will expect me to be perfect”
“to be slim and healthy, I will have limit what I eat and do”
“If I eat a healthy diet, it will be a problem in my family or social circle”
“I need to be directed by some outside authority to loose weight”
It follows, that if you have to be perfect if you are slim, and you are afraid of being judged as not perfect, you cannot afford to be slim. Or if you love life, and you believe you will have to limit your life to be healthy and slim, you are not going to allow yourself to be that.
If you want to have great self esteem but have any of the following unconscious beliefs or others:
“people who love themselves are arrogant or selfish, or don’t love others, or are vain.”
“if I don’t judge myself harshly, I will not do better”
“I need to speak to myself harshly, and pay a lot of attention to my flaws to be a better person”
“I would have self worth or self esteem if I had a better body/job/car/partner etc.”
If you want to have a great relationship but you have any of the following unconscious beliefs or others:
“I am unlovable”
“no one would really love me if they knew me well”
“Men or woman cannot be trusted not to cheat”
“Men or woman only want one thing”
It follows that is you can’t trust let yourself believe or trust in the relationship, it will never be all it could be.
Limiting beliefs and self sabotage programs, are often difficult to spot in ourselves, because they are so unconscious, and go unquestioned for so long. If you want to work on them yourself, without professional help, I suggest you write a list of the beliefs you hold true about something (such as the list above). And then go about interrogating them, and coming up with reasons why they may not be true. What you have to keep in mind, is that the “survival brain” really wants to be right. For beliefs, that means that when it comes across a thought or belief that it thinks is true, it searches for evidence that is it true. Unfortunately, at the same time completely discounting evidence that it is not.
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So if for instance you believe that “people who love themselves are arrogant or selfish, or don’t love others, or are vain” you will certainly find evidence to prove that it true. Some vain arrogant people will pass through your life, who appear to love themselves. However, those that truly love themselves, as opposed to their power or wealth or image in the world, will have no reason to put on the protective crust of vanity and arrogance. Your belief will lead you to discount those kind, loving people which quiet confidence that touch your life, not recognizing that it is the ability for them to love themselves, unconditionally, that allows them to go through life with an open heart, unconcerned and not needing to protect themselves from the judgement of others.
If you are finding the work hard to do alone, well, I am always happy to help, after all, it is what I love to do.