facebook-icon instagram-icon twitter-icon pinterest-icon google-plus-icon youtube-icon

Being A Step parent: What You Need To Know To Make It Work

Being A Stepparent

Living with your new partner’s children can seem daunting, but you can build a beautiful relationship with him or her if you follow this simple step by step guide.



1. Ensure your partner is supportive

You have to agree about the big issues: rules, responsibilities and rewards. To strengthen your relationship, take time out to be alone together to nourish your relationship. This is crucial for the continuing existence and emotional health of the step-family. Eve just simple things like a lunchtime walk in the park or an evening visit to the pub once a week.

2. Accept that a step-family is different to the traditional nuclear family

The key to success is to be aware of the differing values and attitudes of the various family members – in particular, towards discipline, privacy and money. Develop a tolerance towards differences, whilst establishing agreed customs and routines for your new family.

3. Recognise that becoming a step-parent is never the same as being a parent

Loving a step-child as your own may not be possible – but to like and respect them is an achievable goal. Step-parenting will be more successful if you carve out a different and non-competitive role to their natural mother or father. Discuss how to do this with your partner.

4. Acknowledge the role and value of your natural counterpart

Try not to criticise the parent in front of your step-children. This forces stepchildren to make choices between you, causing distress and tension. Rather, encourage step-children to talk to you about their natural mother or father. This reduces loyalty conflicts and provides a sense of continuity.

Luxury Travel Bag

5. Ensure that any visiting step-children feel at home

Give them their own space – a cupboard or shelves for their toys, as examples. And have things around that are familiar to them: The same type of shampoo and toothpaste that they use at home, as examples. Include them in any chores and projects so they feel part of a family.

6. Let the relationship develop at its own pace

Don’t rush it – the desire for an instant, ready-made relationship leads to difficulties and disappointments. It often takes at least two years or more for step-family relationships to settle into place. Be patient, and give your step-children plenty of time to accept you.

7. Build your relationship before attempting to discipline your step-children

Spend some time getting to know each other. Taking up a mutual hobby, going shopping together. But make sure this isn’t forced – pretending to enjoy something that you dislike will eventually cause unnecessary tensions.

8. Seek help and advice when necessary

You can contact: Family and Marriage Society of South Africa (FAMSA). Their website is www.famsa.org.za.


Tags: , ,

Leave a comment

Follow Us On Instagram

  • Join us, in collaboration with @happyearthpeople on our 7-Day Ayurvedic Detox, starting 21st January 💦 For more information, follow the link in my profile or head over to https://lifestyleshoponline.co.za/products/ayurveda-7-day-lifestyle-detox #detox #ayurveda #ayurvedalifestyle #movement #health #wellness
  • All new summer hats & accessories available online and in store @lifestyleshopsa, Lourensford Wine Estate 💦 #summer #capetown #winelands
  • Dermatologists and beauty experts alike will stress the importance of using a good skincare product to combat the effects of our environment. Everything from makeup, humidity, airborne allergens and pollen can cause irritation and result in skin concerns such as eczema and dermatitis, especially amongst women. Dexeryl is now available in South Africa at independent pharmacies. #dexeryl #dryskin
Marketed by: Adcock Ingram Healthcare, 1 New road, Erand Gardens, Midrand, South Africa.
www.adcock.com. Pierre Fabre South Africa (Pty) Ltd., Co. Reg. No. 1994/004706/07. Please refer to the packaging insert for recommended usage, possible side effects and the procedures
to be followed in the case of any contraindications.

Life Retreat

You have successfully subscribed to our mail list.

Too many subscribe attempts for this email address

Keep up to date with all our News & Views Be inspired to live a healthy, happy life

Signup to receive our newsletter for free!

* indicates required